6 [layers] x 4 [hungry people] - 3 [feet tall] = 21 [years old]

Ah, birthday season.

It has begun.

Naturally, the start of birthday season always coincides splendidly with finals, which is both hideously inconvenient and a wonderful break from studying.

But since it's Noosh's birthday, the break is always, always welcome.

Though, I suppose that after spending the vast majority of our Saturday night writing and editing term papers along with Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother breaks every thirty or so minutes, but it's okay since I started and finished a rather decently executed 8-page political theory essay in a grand total of 6 hours, I think today's lunch and subsequent sugar coma were well-deserved.

Noosh's rents came up today and took us out for a fantastic lunch at Outback, which was quite literally the first time in weeks that she and I had a meal that didn't involve items of questionable edibleness haphazardly thrown together in an attempt to fashion what few would call any semblance of a plate of food, so I was pretty damn pleased. I mean, salmon on rice pilaf with broccoli? It was like a holiday miracle, I kid you not. 

I feel unbelievably rejuvenated now and have this delusion that I possess the strength necessary to stare down my metaphysics term paper with the utmost confidence. By that I mean I may not actually pass out from sheer terror anymore.

Anyway, lunch was great [the whole 'real food' thing], and then we came back to the apartment for merriment and cake.


And so we ate. And ate. And ate some more.

And I'm still reeling from all the sugar. [What else is new.]

Fall Hummingbird Cake
Adapted from Sweetapolita and For the Love of Food.
Makes one three-layer 9-inch cake.

For the cake, you'll need:

• 3 cups flour
• 2 cups light brown sugar
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp cloves
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 cup chopped pecans
• 3 eggs
• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 1 cup pumpkin
• 3 ripe bananas, mashed
• 1 8-oz can crushed pineapple, with juice

For the maple cream cheese frosting, you'll need:

• 2 8-oz packages cream cheese, at room temperature and cut into cubes
• 1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1/3 cup maple syrup
• 1 tbsp vanilla
• 5 cups powdered sugar

To prepare the hummingbird cake:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and grease and flour three 9-inch cake pans. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with paddle attachment, beat eggs and oil on medium speed until frothy, about a minute. Add in pumpkin, bananas, and pineapple and mix until well-blended, 3-4 minutes. Remove the bowl from the stand. In a separate bowl, sift flour, sugar, spices, salt, and baking soda. Dump flour mixture into the pumpkin mixture and stir with a wooden spoon until barely incorporated. Stir in pecans and mix until just combined.

Divide batter among the three pans. Bake for 25 minutes, or until golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Allow cakes to cool completely before frosting.


To prepare the maple cream cheese frosting:
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with paddle attachment, beat butter, maple syrup, and vanilla on medium speed until well-mixed. Reduce speed to low and gradually add in powdered sugar. Beat until the frosting fluffs up a bit, about 3 minutes. Add in the cream cheese all at once, increase speed to medium-high, and beat until the frosting is light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Refrigerate frosting until using.


To assemble the cake:
Place one of the three layers on the serving plate. Frost top of the layer with a generous amount of frosting. Repeat with the second and third layers, and use remaining frosting to frost the sides of the cake. Refrigerate cake until serving. Garnish with chopped pecans, if desired.

Alright, so my cake was the approximate size of a small child. And was also 6 layers tall. And it could probably feed a small country. With leftovers remaining.

What I did was bake the cake twice over - used the same three pans for the second round of batter, and I was left with six, rather sizable, layers of hummingbird cake. I let them cool completely, and then got to frosting, the recipe for which I increased by 50% [I'll let you do the math on this one].

Now, a word of caution: if you're going to make a 6-layer cake, you can not assemble the entire thing all at once. I initially did all 6 layers, and the mess was teetering over worse than the tower of Pisa. I almost had a mental breakdown, and then decided to just remove two layers. Instead of throwing them away, I stuck them on a plate and figured I'd just have two cakes [of two awkwardly-different heights]. The cake with four layers was pretty stable, so I went ahead and frosted it completely. Then I decided that, no, I am not going to sit here and allow physics to destroy all of my dreams and happiness, so I stuck the four-layered cake in the freezer for about an hour and a half [stuck the other two in the fridge during this time], then placed the two refrigerated layers on top, refrosted the top two layers, and stuck it back into the freezer to firm up completely.

So, if you, dear reader, hope to make a 6-layered cake, I would do the following:

1. assemble and frost four layers, sides and all 
2. wrap remaining two layers in clingwrap and allow them to mellow out on the counter
3. place frosted cake in freezer for 1.5 hours
4. frost and add final two layers to frozen cake [note that frosting blends seamlessly with what has been done prior]
5. place 6-layer, frosted cake in freezer for another 2 hours
6. transfer frozen cake to the fridge for at least 4 hours before serving, so that it has a chance to thaw and isn't an unpleasant experience to eat

Yes, it is a time-consuming process, as all layer cakes are loathe to be, so make sure to keep in mind the time you'll need to set aside to make it happen.

You could also always just go with the three-layer, but the six-layer is far more enjoyable to slice.

As for decoration, I just purchased some fake flowers from Michaels, trimmed them off of the stalk, and arranged them on top. Chopped up some walnuts for some sort of aesthetic flair - rocks maybe? I'm really not quite sure - and it ended up looking more like a wedding cake than a birthday cake. But the addition of candles toned down the exuberant amounts of class radiating off of the cake, so it was all good.

#sarcasm

Anyway, Noosh and her famfam loved it, so I figured it was a success in the end.

And finally, my darling Farnoosh, most amazing roommate and best friend one could wish for in the most epic bromance that ever was, I hope you had an absolutely wonderful 21st birthday [despite the fact that you are sitting next to me working on an ethics term paper], and I'm warning you now that once you turn it in, we are in for a night of a How I Met Your Mother marathon. Prepare yourself.

As for later this week, I'll be at the apartment until Friday when I'm finally off for break. I have this vague notion that the cousins and I are heading to NYC next week, but I'm fuzzy on some all of the details. But at least I have a few weeks to spend with the family before I'm back here for intercession.

And sometime in between there are about 3 more birthdays needing to be celebrated, so at least there's weight-gain to look forward to.

pumpkin bars with maple cream cheese frosting

Thanksgiving feels like it was ages ago, though it was just last week that I was huddled around our dining table, 14 unnervingly-cheerful family members by my side, reaching for my second [or was it third?] helping of turkey and Butterbeer.

What I wouldn't do to have some leftover turkey here at the apartment so as to stop chewing on my own hand whenever I get hungry. The lack of quality food and utter depression that accompanies it can only mean one thing: we've approached finals season.

Presumably, I spend most of my days holed up in my room or at a coffee shop, frantically reading hundreds of pages of Spanish literature and philosophy that I shirked during the semester, writing the best-quality term paper[s] I can a week before the due date, and waking up every morning praying that I'm back in my fluffy bed at home, having left all final exams and papers behind me.

Okay, admittedly, it's not that tragic. Mostly it's been painful not being able to play PS3 when AC:R sits next to my television remote forlornly, abandoned and neglected, wondering how it got stuck with a good-for-nothing college student who really should have read that 200-page Spanish novel 2 weeks ago when it was assigned rather than spending hours doing so yesterday in order to write a paper due next week.


...not that I'm, you know, bitter or anything.

Pumpkin Bars with Maple Cream Cheese Frosting
A bakedbeen original
Makes 18-24 bars

For the pumpkin bars, you'll need:

• 4 eggs
• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 1 1/2 cups light brown sugar
• 1 15-oz can pumpkin [not pumpkin pie filling]
• 2 cups flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 2 heaping tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp nutmeg
• a few shakes of cloves
• 1 tsp salt
• 2/3 cup crushed pecans
• 1/4 cup raisins

For the maple cream cheese frosting, you'll need:

• 8 oz cream cheese, softened
• 4 tbsp butter, softened
• 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
• 1/3 cup maple syrup
• 1 tsp vanilla

To prepare the pumpkin bars:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and line and grease a 9x13-inch baking pan. In a large bowl, beat eggs, oil, brown sugar, and pumpkin until fluffy, 4-5 minutes. In a separate bowl, sift flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and salt.  Using a wooden spoon, hand-mix the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients. Be careful not to over-mix. Once mixed, toss in the pecans and raisins and give the batter another turn. Pour the batter into the prepared pan for 25-30 minutes, until set. Let cool completely before frosting.


To prepare the maple cream cheese frosting:
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with paddle attachment, beat butter and cream cheese on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Lower mixer speed to low and slowly add in powdered sugar. Mix until combined. Add maple syrup and vanilla. Increase mixer speed to medium-high and beat for another 3-5 minutes, until fluffy. Refrigerate until frosting reaches spreading consistency, about 30 minutes. 

Once bars are cool, spread the cream cheese frosting evenly over top. Garnish with whole or crushed pecans, if desired. Refrigerate at least 45 minutes before slicing.

Luckily, after a week of unprecedented amounts of catch-up and studying, Noosh and I got to spend the afternoon and evening out, shopping in pleasantly nippy, chilly weather and meeting up with good friends for an extraordinarily entertaining little dinner party.

For the occasion, I decided to bake. I felt as though I hadn't baked in years, although I made about 4 desserts for our Thanksgiving dinner last week. I'll blame it on finals-prep having drained the life and joy out of me.

But I digress: baking. Pumpkin bars with maple cream cheese frosting, to be precise. For some reason I have this delusion that baking with pumpkin after Christmas is just blasphemous, since pumpkin is the epitome of fall deliciousness and happiness, and the only thing I want to do when winter rolls around is stuff a pillow over my head and hibernate for 3 months. So I figured: I only have two more weeks at the apartment, I have a can of pumpkin in my pantry, and it would be going against nature for me to use it after I'm back for intercession; might as well put it to delicious use.

I always view pumpkin in the same light I do carrots, when it comes to baking. They both have a sort of mild, dense, earthy quality about them which pairs wonderfully with spices, nuts, and dried fruits. Pumpkin bars I've had in the past are typically made with just pumpkin and spices, and have a really pleasant cake-y quality to them. But I like my pumpkin bars heartier, so always add ground nuts [what's more fitting than pecans?] and raisins to give them some body and a sort of rustic, cold-weather touch. Maple added to the frosting to tie it all together, and you're left with a beautiful fall dessert.

Simple, but comforting. As is spending an evening after a stressful week with good friends and good food.

And with a happy belly and residual smile from a wonderful night, the next two weeks don't seem quite so daunting.

{DBC} maple mousse-filled almond cupcakes with cream cheese frosting

I am not the biggest fan of splatter films. Mainly because of the unnecessary amount of disturbing gore.

Do I care how many ways the directors of Resident Evil can hack and slash away at their poor, defenseless protagonists?

Do I really want to sit down and agree to watch a marathon of Scream films on my own volition?

Does it interest me how many of my irrational fears Saw is able to play on and give me nightmares for days?

Not in the least.

Ironic, given how much Assassin's Creed I've played this semester, but that's besides the point.

So you can imagine my unwillingness to watch Zombieland back when it had just been released. You can also imagine how persuasive my cousins and sister can be.


Truth be told, despite the gore, it was a sweet movie. Bizarrely profound, too, for a zombie flick.

Rule #32: Enjoy the little things.

Now, I'm not really one for proverbs, particularly cheesy ones that appear in pop culture as a sad excuse for contemporary philosophy. But I'm also a cheesy person, at heart, and some of them strike in me a chord that resonates more than it probably should.

But I loved that line.

Loved it for its simplicity, its accuracy, its innocent optimism.

Loved it for the juxtaposition of a group of nondescript individuals trying to survive in a world falling apart around them, with sheer determination and will to survive solely in order to finally enjoy a Twinkie.



...I could do without the Twinkie, but the sentiment remains the same.

It has been a long month, to be honest. I've been ready for it to be over since week one. It just felt like swimming in an endless sea of work, papers, studying, stress, with no lifeboat in sight to guide me back to shore. But upon reflection, it wasn't bad at all. Heard some phenomenal news from a friend, visited a few other dear friends who I hadn't seen in months, strolled through grounds on quiet, breezy evenings, got a few new clients for henna, played an obscene amount of video games that would probably shame a college male, and baked.

Baked cupcakes, again, if you can believe. The April Daring Baker's Challenge was a maple mousse serve in an edible container. At first I thought, chocolate cups, of course. But chocolate and maple? Sugar overkill. So that idea was shot.

For a minute I was stressed out. Heart pounding, mind racing, eyes darting across cookbook pages to try to determine what on earth I could do instead. Bacon cups were definitely an option, and were actually recommended in the challenge recipe. But...expensive, since I would have purchased turkey bacon, and would have needed quite a lot of it.

And then it hit me: almond. I love almond and maple together. But I didn't want to make a nut crust out of almonds and almond flour, because I speculated that it wouldn't have held up well. So instead, I [with tons and tons of help from Tommy and Noosh, as always!] went with an almond cupcake, hollowed out some of the inside cake, piped it with maple mousse, topped with a neutral cream cheese frosting, and warm, crispy turkey bacon.

[Yes, I was skeptical at first too, with the bacon, but really? It's delicious. Just...delicious.]

Maple Mousse
Adapted from the April Daring Baker's Challenge

You'll need:

• 8 oz pure maple syrup
• 4 egg yolks
• 1 package [1 tbsp] unflavored gelatin
• 1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream

In a medium saucepan over medium-high flame, bring maple syrup to a boil then remove from heat. In a separate bowl, whisk egg yolks. Pour in some of the hot maple syrup into the egg yolks, whisking constantly, to temper the eggs. Pour the egg yolks back into the saucepan and whisk thoroughly.

In a separate bowl, pour 1/4 cup of the heavy cream and sprinkle gelatin on top. Let sit for 5 minutes, then heat for 45 seconds in the microwave (in increments of 10-15 seconds) until gelatin dissolves completely. Whisk the gelatin mixture into the maple syrup mixture and set aside.

Whisk maple syrup mixture occasionally for an hour, or until the mixture has the consistency of an unbeaten raw egg white.

Whip the remaining heavy cream until stiff peaks form. Stir 1/4 of the whipped cream into the maple syrup to lighten the syrup. Fold in the remaining cream. Refrigerate for at least an hour to set.

Remove from fridge and divide mousse equally among serving dishes. Keep chilled until serving.

Almond Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting
Adapted from Sugarplum Musings and Cathy's Kitchen Journey
Makes 24 cupcakes

For the cupcakes, you'll need:

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup almond flour
• 1 tbsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 3/4 cup [1 1/2 sticks] butter, at room temperature
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 tsps almond extract
• 1 cup milk
• 5 egg whites, at room temperature

For the cream cheese frosting, you'll need:

• 1 8-oz package of cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 stick butter, softened
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and line a cupcake pan with papers.

In a large bowl, beat butter on medium speed until fluffy. Gradually add in sugar, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Add in extracts. In a separate bowl, combine flour, almond flour, baking powder, and salt. Alternate adding the flour mixture and milk to the butter mixture, beginning and ending with flour. Mix until just combined. Set aside.

In a clean, dry, stainless steal bowl, whisk egg whites until stiff peak forms. Mix 1/3 of the egg whites into the cupcake batter, to lighten the batter. Gently fold in remaining egg whites.

Divide batter equally among cupcake papers, filling each paper about 3/4 of the way full. Bake for 20 minutes, until tops are golden brown. Let cool in pan for at least 10 minutes before removing.


To prepare the cream cheese frosting, beat cream cheese, butter, and vanilla on medium-high speed until fluffy. Reduce speed to low and add in confectioner's sugar. Mix until smooth, and refrigerate until using.


To assemble cupcakes, remove a small cone from the center of each cooled cupcake. Put the mousse inside of a piping bag or ziplock bag with a hole cut out of the corner. Pipe mousse into the cut-out centers of each cupcake, filling them generously. Frost with the cream cheese frosting. Serve immediately, or refrigerate until serving.

Yes, some months are longer than others, and yes, sometimes the stress feels like it'll never end, but if you only remember to enjoy the little things, it's never as bad as you think.

...I think finals are in a week.