5. canada: nanaimo bars [and a moment of solitude]

'Solitude' is a condition that I'm well-acquainted with as of late. I've been back at the apartment since last Sunday and have the place to myself. Not only that, I have more or less all of grounds to myself, save for those poor, overachieving, GPA-boost-seeking souls here for J-term.

As for me, I'm here working part-time, which is actually getting me nowhere whatsoever since I spend every waking hour that I'm home with my feet propped up on a table laid with half-read books, a carelessly discarded PS3 controller in desperate need of charging, and the Mac open to tabs of Facebook, Tastespotting, and Amazon.com for easy-access online shopping.

[Needless to say, any money I've made so far has already been spent on the first four novels in A Song of Ice & Fire, two new scarves, and about three cartons of eggs I picked up last week for breakfasts.]

In any case, "solitude" has never been a word I've found melancholy or deplorable, or one associated with the social status of an elderly cat-lady. In fact, I love being alone. It's a characteristic my mother has found baffling ever since my toddler years, when I was perfectly content to sit by the window in my crib and engage in whatever musings strike a 2-year-old without the need to cry out for mom's attention or caregiving. I'm not sure why, but I just rarely feel lonely, and very much enjoy having hours upon hours to spend doing whatever I want.

Lately, that has been books. Now, I'm not one for new year's resolutions. I mean, I make them, in my head of course, with all intention to break them as quickly as possible and save myself the later self-loathing. So, in an effort to keep up tradition, I mentally drew up a list of unachievable resolutions. The list included the usual - lose 20 pounds, will myself to sleep earlier than 3am on weeknights, do a better job of keeping in touch with family, etc. etc. But I also made one serious resolution that I do actually intend on keeping: read more.

[I figure, if I'm going to be up until 3am anyway, I could at least spend it doing something intellectually stimulating, instead of just lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, making tragically desperate wishes for TARDISes and a 4.0 gpa.]

I mean, I realize that it has only been 8 days, but having read literally about 1,000 pages of literature since the start of 2012, I think I'm doing rather well so far. In any case, it's more than I'd read for pleasure during the totality of the 365 days of 2011. Currently I'm in the middle of George R.R. Martin's Game of Thrones and absolutely loving it. I work my 5-hour shifts every morning, come home by 3pm, and spend the remainder of the day alternating between novels and BBC television.

[Sherlock's back on for series 2 and I've definitely seen the first episode at least 5 times; another feat, seeing as how it was released exactly 7 days ago. Also not very surprising since this is me we're talking about.]

Today, though, has been a bit lazy. I haven't actually read at all yet, and spent the morning cooking, submitting philosophy papers to random journals, reading up on summer internships, and baking. First time baking in a little while, and so I settled on something I've always wondered about:  nanaimo bars.

Nanaimo bars are a delightful little treat from one of my favorite countries in the world, Canada. I actually did not realize prior to actually making them that they don't actually require any baking. [This was, in fact, so surprising that I felt the need to use the word "actually" thrice in the previous sentence.] Instead, they just chill out, layer by layer, in the fridge until they settle. It's a rather casual baking experience, which was even more welcome since I've tried my very best to move as little as possible today. The end result is a bit sweet for my tastes, but undeniably worth it for the ease of preparation.

Nanaimo Bars
Adapted from bakedbree
Yields 16 squares

For the crust, you'll need:

• 1/2 cup [1 stick] butter
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 3 tbsp cocoa powder
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 2 cups graham cracker crumbs
• 1/2 cup walnuts, chopped
• 1 cup coconut flakes

For the middle layer, you'll need: 

• 1/4 cup [1/2 stick] butter, softened
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 2 tbsp vanilla custard powder
• 1/4 cup heavy cream

For the chocolate layer, you'll need:

• 1/4 cup [1/2 stick] butter
• 4 oz semisweet chocolate

To prepare the crust:

Line an 8x8-inch square pan with aluminum foil, but do not grease. In a medium, heat-proof bowl, melt butter, brown sugar, and cocoa over a double-broiler [or microwave]. While the mixture is hot, whisk constantly while slowly pouring in the beaten egg. Be vigilant about whisking as to avoid scrambling the egg. Switch to a wooden spoon, add in graham cracker crumbs, walnuts, and coconut, and mix until the mixture comes together in a sort-of dough. Dump the dough onto the base of the pan and press it evenly along the base. Stick the pan in the fridge for 45-60 minutes.

To prepare the middle layer: 

Cream the butter, powdered sugar, and custard powder in a bowl. Slowly pour in the heavy cream and beat on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Pour filling onto the chilled crust and spread evenly with a spatula Stick the pan back into the fridge for another 45-60 minutes.

To prepare the chocolate layer:

Melt the chocolate chips and butter in a heat-proof bowl until the mixture is smooth and shiny. Once the middle layer has firmed up, pour the chocolate on top and spread it evenly with a spatula. Chill the bars in the fridge for at least 60 minutes before removing from the pan and slicing. Cut into 16 squares and serve. Bars can be refrigerated for up to 5 days.

Yes, I realize that geographically, it makes no sense to move from Afghanistan to Canada, and that I hadn't actually planned on hitting Canada in my gastronomic journey around the world for quite some time, but I like spontaneity. [And many of the Asian desserts that I have on my list require fruit that is not currently in season, so I figured that jumping around from country to country keeps things interesting and prevents me from going against nature.] 

As for the bars themselves, I love the crust on these; it has everything I love about an unhealthy food item. Graham crackers, nuts, coconut, butter, and brown sugar. I mean, it really just doesn't get any better. The middle layer I'm less keen on, but it's more a fault of my personal character [I don't like the taste or texture that accompanies custard powder] than the actual bars. But sandwiched between such a delightful crust and a guaranteed-to-be-delicious ganache layer, I couldn't stop myself from nibbling on the bars as I sliced them up. 

A fine dessert, over all.

As I said before, I have no problem with solitude. I rarely feel lonely and am perfectly content being able to sit like a log on my sofa in PJs for the entirety of the day with nothing but my books, my BBC Sherlock, and my David Tennant to keep me company. But when one has the house to herself, one also runs into the problem of having all of one's dessert to herself. This may not seem like a bad thing to those not in the house who may actually want to partake in said dessert, but for the one all alone in the house, it is a bad news bears situation. Consequently, I've layered the bars up in some tupperware, stuck them in the freezer, and plan on taking them home with me when I head back next weekend to share with the family.

Of course, that's not to say that I've kept a couple in the fridge for some dessert after tonight's dinner, but no one has to know about that.

[almost-vegan but totally ethical] raspberry-walnut chiffon cake with chocolate-avocado buttercream

It's startling how quickly something can become routine, and how quickly other things can be pushed to the back of your mind, like dust swept under the rug. I've been cleaning out my hard drive of old files and photos in an effort to organize my life a bit, and rummaging through albums from summers past and collections of pictures of desserts baked for old friends' birthdays, I'm somewhat surprised at how long ago some things seem, even though they really weren't that long ago at all.

Spain, for example. I can't even believe that less than three months ago, I'd be waking up on the eleventh floor of Maria's apartment, grabbing my backpack and heading out on the routine 3-mile walk to campus, strolling past unassuming bookshops and cafes along narrow Valencian streets. Feels like years. And yet, not quite so.

I'm quite a fan of decorating chocolate and raspberry desserts in this fashion. The motivation behind it is my utter lack of creativity. At least, as Noosh so graciously pointed out [in the manner only a best friend would without actually highlighting your creative deficiencies], "it looks like a cake one would find in a bohemian cafe."

This weekend marks the end of the second week of the semester, and yet it feels like it's been going on for ages. Like there was no summer. Papers, hundreds of pages of reading, mundane assignments, insomnia, having to wake up early, wanting to procrastinate with Netflix. It's like I've been doing this for years without pause. The familiarity is nice, of course, but also draining. Feeling like I've been doing this for years also means feeling like I never get quite enough sleep.

But being a third year now, I don't have to deal with the torture of having to familiarize myself with a new place, overwhelmed by enormous classes and distant professors, new hallmates and suitemates and RAs, missing the ease of having a car on hand.

Instead, I have the ability to drive down to a good friend's apartment at any hour I please, dressed up [for once] and an almost-vegan but totally ethical cake in hand for a relaxing and sophisticated dinner party.

Raspberry-Walnut Chiffon Cake with Chocolate Avocado Buttercream
Adapted from Rose's Heavenly Cakes, passion 4 eating, and my imagination.
Yields one three-layer, 8-inch cake

For the walnut chiffon cake, you'll need:

• 1 1/4 cups walnuts
• 3/4 cup flour
• 1/2 cup cornstarch
• 1 tsp baking powder 
• 1 cup sugar plus 2 tablespoons, divided
• 5 egg whites, at room temperature
• 1/2 tsp cream of tartar
• 8 egg yolks, at room temperature
• 1 tsp vanilla

For the chocolate-avocado "buttercream", you'll need:

• 3 ripe avocados 
• 3/4 cup cocoa powder
• 1 1/4 cup powdered sugar
• pinch of salt
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1 tbsp instant coffee

• 1 cup raspberry preserves
• 1/2 pint fresh raspberries, to garnish

To prepare the walnut-chiffon cake:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and grease and flour three 8-inch square pans [alternatively, three 8-inch round pans or two 9-inch round pans will work]. In a food processor, pulse the walnuts and 2 tbsp of flour until they are the consistency of breadcrumbs. Add in the remaining flour, cornstarch, and baking powder, and pulse until fine. Set aside.

In a the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat egg whites on medium speed until frothy. Add in cream of tartar and increase speed to medium-high until soft peaks form. Gradually add in half of the sugar [1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon] until stiff peak forms. Gently spoon the meringue into a large bowl, being careful not to deflate them, and set aside. Clean the bowl and whisk and dry completely.

Now whisk the egg yolks and remaining sugar on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add in the vanilla and mix until incorporated. Sprinkle the flour mixture on top of the egg yolks, but don't mix. Using a spatula, gently fold 1/3 of the egg whites into the egg yolk mixture to lighten the batter [and consequently mixing the flour into the eggs]. Carefully fold in the remaining egg whites in two additions, being careful not to over-mix or deflate the whipped egg whites. The batter will be thick and dense. Separate the batter equally across the pans. If using three pans, bake for 20-25 minutes, until the top of the cakes are golden-brown. If using two pans, bake for 30-35 minutes. Let cakes cool completely. 


To prepare the chocolate-avocado "buttercream": 
Scoop the flesh out of the three avocados into the bowl of a food processor. Add in all ingredients and process until smooth and creamy. Add more sugar if it's not sweet enough to your liking. Keep buttercream refrigerated until using. Note that the frosting can be made a day ahead. 


To assemble the cake:
Place one cake layer on a serving plate. Spread a thin layer of the chocolate frosting over the top of the layer, as a sort of crumb-coating. Pour half of the raspberry preserves on top of the chocolate and spread it evenly. Gently place the second cake layer on top of the base, and repeat with another crumb-coating and the remaining raspberry preserves. Place the final layer on top of the cake and frost the top and sides with the remaining frosting. Garnish the top of the cake with the fresh raspberries. Keep cake refrigerated until serving.

I'd have to say, playing Taboo and discussing anthropological differences in pop-culture film dubs, in a room full of college students well-fed with butternut squash lentils, roasted Brussels sprouts, stewed beans, and ethical cake, is a rather excellent way to spend an evening.

Chelsea invited us over this evening, meeting new friends and reuniting with old ones, for a small little dinner party. Since she eats ethical now, we had a vegan dinner and I took it upon myself to offer to make dessert. I have to admit, the challenge of baking ethical was hugely intriguing.

The cake is a dense walnut chiffon, adapted from Rose's almond chiffon cake recipe in her gorgeous cookbook, made ethical with the use of eggs from happy chickens [courtesy of Whole Foods, of course, and borrowed from Chelsea for this dessert]. Being a chiffon cake, it lacks any sort of dairy and thus is completely vegan save for the eggs. 

The frosting is something I've been dying to try for quite a while now; chocolate-avocado "buttercream." Avocado is extremely useful in foods with consistencies like sauces and frostings, as the oil content acts very much like butter. Here, the cocoa powder does a rather good job of masking the avocado taste, and though on its own the frosting is pretty distinct [in neither a positive nor negative way, mind you], on top of a cake it's absolutely brilliant.

And paired with raspberries, it's almost sinful.


Admittedly, I was extremely nervous about this cake. I mean, if it turned out disastrous...a room full of hungry people would be there to tell me all about it. Luckily, it was a hit. And everyone who was unaware of its ethical nature was absolutely floored when I told them about the vegan frosting. Which, I suppose, is the beauty of any sort of substitute dessert: the ability to make them taste convincing. I definitely hope to experiment more with avocado in future.

The rest of the weekend will be spent successfully muggling Famer's Market-bought Ezekiel bread into Panera bread, reading philosophy with a caffeine IV. A trip out of town on Sunday is the only thing motivating me to grin and bear tomorrow's day of catch-up.


As for now, I'm running on about 5 hours of sleep and am in desperate need of some shut-eye. Isn't college just the best?